This blog is called voices in my head. I figured Iv’e spent enough time listening to them it was about time to let other people in on all the noise.
I really have no idea if someone will ever really read this, but I spent most of my life up until now writing a journal and there’s something satisfying about sending these words of mine out to the world and having no control over where they end up and who they end up talking to. Scary as hell though. If you’re out there reading this, my dear random person, i hope i don’t come off too crazy. because I swear I’m just the right amount.
you know, there are different kinds of invisible. There’s the kind we all learn about in high school. “The Classic” if you will. That shy girl or boy. quiet,doesn’t make eye contact,small, with a loneliness that’s hard to miss. And we’re taught to notice them. keep our eyes out and aware so that we can help them feel a little less invisible. a standard “coming of age” Hollywood movie.
But there’s another kind of invisible that no one tells you about. And if you don’t know how to look its really hard to see. because this girl smiles and talks. she’s caring and a part of the group.
But if you knew how to look you’d see that she may smile, but inside all she wants to do is scream. she talks, but no one listens. she’s caring, but that’s usually the only thing people have to say about her. she’s a part of the group, but the group doesn’t even know she’s there.
and her loneliness? her loneliness is the worse kind because no one can even see it. Its covered up with colors and butterflies and smiles.
so she starts to write, letting her words out to the world and hoping someone will hear them and really see her…